Sunday, June 16, 2013

lovely jokes collections

 45 Saal Ka Aadmi Larki Dekhny Gaya!
Larki Ki Maa Dekh K Behosh Ho Gai
Jab
Hosh Aaya
Waja Poochi?
Tou Boli 25 Saal Pehle
Ye Mujhy B Dekhny Aaya Tha

-Ek baar Gandhiji k head par baal aaye...Wo Barber ke paas gaye....Barber gusse me pucha"CUT karu ya COUNT karu?
"Bapu vinamrata se bole..."COLOUR" karo!!!!


Socho agar doctor film banate to title kya hota?---
.1. Kabhi khansi kabhi jukam
2. Kaho naa bukhar hai
3. TB no 1
4. Kal patient ho na ho
5. Hum blood de chuke sanam

girl to baba ramdev:if i kiss a boy to kya hoga??
baba ramdev:narq mein jayegi tu
girl:achha gr aapko kiss kroon to?
baba:chlaak ladki swarg mein jana chahti hai

Principal asked PreM:
Why r u late?
all ur classmates came to d class on tym
I rplied:
"Jhund me to kutte aate h. Lekin SHER hamesha akela aata ha

Sardar- Aap to kahte the ki subha khelne se sehat thik rehti hai mujhe to koi farak nahi pada.
Dr.- Tum kaun sa game khelte ho?
Sardar- Mobile me saap wala!

PRINCE movie se pehle Vivek oberoi kya kaam karta tha?
Socho?
.
.
.
Socho?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Majdoor tha.
Remember d song-
.
.
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.
.
chhod di KHUDAAI maine tere liye....

Girl:
Lekin mein tumse Umer mein 1 saal barri hoon..!

Pathan:
Oye baaji fikar kyun karta hy,
Hum tumse aglay saal shaadi karlega..!

Baap : Sharab, Cigarette, Larkiyan Ye Sab Tumhari Jaan k Dushman Hain..
.
.
.
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Beta : Jo Shakhs Apne Dushmano Se Bhaag jaiey
Wo Mard Nahi Hota abba...

GOLU gadhe p baith k college jata tha
Final year me vo fail ho gaya
or phir paidal college jane laga
Q
Qki gadhe ki graduation
complete ho gayi tha

1970
Dulha dahej main sasurji se t.v. mangta tha

1980
motorcycle
1990
plot
2000
A.C n car

2010
.
.
bas bina noyfrnd wali ladki de. baki main kama lunga

Santa ko koi mobile pe tang kar rha tha.....
santa ne new sim card kharid k use SMS kiya:-
"Maine vo sim band kar di hai,,
ab tu kya tera baap bhi muje tang nhi kar skta

Hum kabhi padh na sake kyunki:-
PADHAAI sirf do wajah se hoti hai
1:shokh se
2:dar se....
Faltu k shokh hum paalte nahi, aur darte to kisi k baap se nahi .........

Girl:Do you have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says, 'To the only guy I ever loved!'
Girl: Great! I want 10 of them

Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol

NO GIRL CAN REJECT THIS:-
Boys are more kind than girls.

Do you know why?
Coz Girls never help Unknown boys..

But....
Boys always try to help unknown Girls

Ladki ki shaadi main uska purana bf bhi aaya thaa sabhi ne usse poocha kya aap dulhe ho?
Boy: nehi main toh semifinal main out ho gaya thaa final dekhne aaya hoon.
Man : How old is your father ?
Boy : As old as me
Man : How can that be ?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born..!! :-)
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Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in
the field"
Student : A cow and a bull are grazing in the field
Teacher : How ?
Student : Ladies first.
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Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
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Friend 1 : Where did you born ?
Friend 2 : India.
Friend 1 : India? Which part?
Friend 2 : No, the whole body.
Teacher: Tell any Microsoft Product Name?
Sonu: MS Excel.
Deep: MS Word
Rony: MS PowerPoint
Sarder: After thinking a lot.......
MS Dhoni.. :-)

AAJ KI TAAZA KHABAR
1.Sardar ne apni sagai todd di.
Kyonki.
Ladki 'kunwari' thi.
Sardar bola-jo aaj tak kisiki nahi huyi,
wo meri kya hogi.

Admi Samose walay say:
o bhai ap k samose main say aurat ka baal nikala hai
samose wala gusay mian: to kya 3 rupee main poori
aurat nikaal kar don kya??

Maths sir: wht is a 'line'?

A genius answered:
A line is a dot, going for a walk!

... Sir again: so wat r parallel lines.?

A dot going walk wid his girlfrnd... :D